The 9 Rules of Airline Etiquette

The following list was sent to me by my sister in preparation for our trip to Ireland. Have I mentioned that I’m going to Ireland? Her editorial comments are in red.

1. Learn how to share armrest space. Two armrests for three seats is one too few, so we have to share. Just because you get stuck with the middle seat does not mean you have the right to use both armrests.
(Mom, she’s touching me….)

2. Don’t rearrange other people’s luggage in the overhead space. There are only two people who should touch anything in the overhead bin: the owner of the object in question and the flight attendant. Do not move someone else’s suitcase or coat so you can fit yours in.
(Pahleeze – just shove it to the side)

3. Go to the bathroom before getting on the plane.If you follow Mom’s (Daddy’s) time-honored advice, you might not have to pop up to use the onboard bathroom, making life more pleasant for you and your seatmates.
(Go ahead, go…I’ll take both armrests)

4. Don’t intrude on airline seat space.The seat next to you, especially when it is occupied, is not yours. You may not use it as an armrest, leg rest or pillow. And never wedge your head between the two seats.
(Then, who’s head can we wedge between the seats??)

5. Using your cell phone? Keep your voice down.If you must use your cell phone after boarding and immediately upon landing, use your indoor voice.
(Indoor voice…Barney says so)

6. If you can’t lift it into the overhead bins, check it.Don’t expect other passengers (i.e. Paul) to do your heavy lifting for you. If your suitcase is too heavy for you to lift into the overhead bin, don’t bring it onboard. (Whatever)

7. Don’t drink and fly. Even if you can handle your liquor without disturbing those around you, will you be in any shape to drive once you land? (Will it really matter?? We’re not driving…..bottoms up!)

8. Use only the space underneath your seat.Your laptop computer bag takes up most of the room under your seat, but that doesn’t mean you can put your oversized purse under the seat next to you or behind you. Even if you ask nicely. (No laptop, no problem)

9. If you’re flying with kids, be prepared.Do understand that the cabin pressure during takeoff and landing could hurt children’s ears, making them cry. Do what you can in advance to make them comfortable. Do be prepared with quiet toys, books, puzzles and even portable DVD players to keep them occupied so they don’t bother other passengers. (NOT APPLICABLE! – sorry, didn’t mean to yell. Back to my “indoor voice”)



Filed under An Irish Tale, Random Ramblings

4 responses to “The 9 Rules of Airline Etiquette

  1. Anonymous

    That sister of yours is a funny gal! (if I do say so myself)


  2. Anonymous

    My mom is seriously a dork. I love her though. 🙂 -Niece

  3. Anonymous

    Hey. I’m hungry for some Thai food. You wanna take a trip to Thailand and get some in August? -Niece

  4. Anonymous

    HEY!! It’s your niece again. I found this really cool mypace layout that you should so use on your myspace page. It’s the Ireland one, the 5th one down. (I tried to find a Thailand one, but couldn’t.) Thought of you and my mom when I saw it.

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