Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

Welcome to Day 2 of Special Guest Writer Week. Today’s guest is probably one of the most creative people I know and I have the pleasure of seeing his creativity unfold week after week. He is a true movie buff and I enjoy trading movie quotes with him on a regular basis. He has asked to remain anonymous and I will honor that request, however, he sometimes goes by the name Chris Gaines. (wink, wink) Again, leave some comments and feedback for my guest and I’ll pass it along.


I’m not sure, but I’m thinking that creativity and ingenuity in feature filmmaking gave way to marketing 101.  When this happened officially, I don’t know.  But, the formula is clear: take something from the childhood of the people who pay for movie tickets, and re-make it into a feature film.  This way, the children of the 70’s and 80’s can bask in the glory of days gone by, and educate their children on the finer things in life at the same time. And all for the low price of $9 a person, plus food.  Those finer things, by the way, are “Transformers”, “Speed Racer”, “Indiana Jones”, “Get Smart”, and so on.


This got me thinking – what other films need to be made as icons from my childhood? (By the way, I am 42, although I look much younger in photographs… well, photographs that I’ve played with in Photoshop).  Here’s my list:


1)     “Hong Kong Phooey” – why this hasn’t become a feature yet, I’ll never know.

2)     “Grape Ape” – come on, we’ve had 2 “King Kongs”, and “Dunsten Checks In” – I think the purple primate deserves a turn.

3)     “Leave it To Beaver” – isn’t there at least one cute Culkin kid left for this one?

4)     “Snoopy, The Movie” – We’ve had all the TV specials, Ice Capade shows, “Snoopy Come Home”, and the stage show, “You’re A Good Man, Charlie Brown”.  How about a feature film giving the beagle the cinemascope credit he deserves in full live action – no animation – real actors.  I know the obvious choices for the lead would be any number of musical artists with “dog” somewhere in their names, but I’m leaning towards the dog from “Underdog, cause I really liked his voice.  If not him, then the one from the Bush’s baked beans commercials.

5)     “The Partridge Family” – I’m liking Michelle Pfeiffer as the mom (remember, she sang in “Hairspray” and it wasn’t half bad), and between “American Idol” cast-offs and “High School Musical” leftovers, casting the rest of the family members couldn’t take more than a day.  Rueben Kincade?  Why, Kelsey Grammer, of course.  (Maybe this could get him out of having to do that Fox show.)  My only request – have a different kid play Chris in every scene. 


I should stop now – I want to take some time to seriously think about what model and make of car could carry the thespian dynamics of “Speed Buggy”.




Filed under BlogStuff, Guest Writers

3 responses to “Coming Soon to a Theater Near You

  1. Your opening paragraph may have been tongue in cheek, but actually, you’re right on target. In Blake Snyder’s book on screenwriting, he talks about how to sell a movie. People have to be able to answer the question “what’s it about” in a sentence or two. Remaking old movies and TV shows is a quick way to do this.

    That being said, I personally could see a full length feature on the “Wonder Twins.” Obviously, someone thought enough of them to include them with the Super Friends in their Justice League of America…and who hasn’t used the phrase, “Wonder Twin Powers, ACTIVATE!” Plus, there are so many unanswered questions left that we could explore today. Where did they come from? How did they get their powers? Why does the girl get to be cool animals and the guy just becomes forms of water? Ah, the possibilities…

  2. Melinda

    I feel you have waaaay too much time on your hands to be so well versed in these matters. JK!

  3. Dave

    Further proof that Hollywood is bereft of original film ideas. I read this morning that Will Farrell is starring in a remake of “Land of the Lost”, set for a Summer 2009 release. I loved the cheesiness of that show and that awesome theme song. I still wonder why anyone would be afraid of the Sleestaks? They moved slower than my 92 year old Great Aunt after she had hip surgery. If they were “charging” at Marshall, Will or Holly, there was time to make toast and coffee before they had to run away.

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