Does This Purse Make My Butt Look Big?

I haven’t watched the show, yet (yes, I am guilty of TiVoing Oprah every day and watching most of them. Don’t judge me.) but, I understand that there were some valuable fashion tips shared on last Friday’s show.

There’s a show called “How to Look Good Nekid” (Hey, I don’t want my blog to show up in someone’s google search using the word nekid, so I’m trying to throw them off.) which I don’t watch. No judging going on here, either. I just don’t need advice on how to look good without my clothes on. I’ve got things “covered”; thank you very much!

But anyway, the host of that show was on Oprah sharing some fashion tips which I thought were worthy of passing on. The comments in red are mine. Sorry I couldn’t resist.

  • If you are worried about big hips, wear flared jeans. “You don’t want a skinny, peg-leg jean because that’s just going to accentuate that shape,” he says. (If you’re worried about your big hips, you probably need to worry about more than the type of jeans you’re wearing. Like maybe laying off the Cheetos.)
  • Big purses can make your butt seem smaller. (Wait! Rewind! Say what? A big purse will make my butt seem smaller? That’s the best news I’ve had all year!)
  • A wrap dress in a knit fabric can be flattering. “It’s body-hugging in all the right places, and it’s forgiving in the right places,” Carson says. (Okay – the three things that are wrong with this sentence are: wrap dress, knit fabric and body-hugging. Enough said.)
  • Knit spandex can help to give your arms some shape and minimize jiggling. (So will a few reps a day with hand weights. I’m just sayin’.)
  • A large pattern can help to camouflage the stomach. (Just how big a pattern are we talking here, Carson?)
  • A cute patent leather belt can help to define the waist. “It just cinches you in and gives you a great waistline,” Carson says. (There is not enough “cute patent leather” in the world to make me want to wear a belt to “cinch” me in.)
  • A long jacket can help to elongate your look. “When you feel short-waisted … you tend to wear very short garments, and that only accentuates a boxiness. If you wear longer, more column-like things, it just makes you look longer. It’s like magic,” Carson says. (Oh, Carson, you finally got it right! There is magic in them there long jackets.)

It’s not often that I pay attention to fashion advice from a man, but in this case I think we can learn something here. Like it or not.

That being said, I’ve already got my next purse picked out.

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7 Comments

Filed under Cool Stuff & Beyond

7 responses to “Does This Purse Make My Butt Look Big?

  1. I have to watch this one I have it Tivo’d too

  2. Jennifer

    Like I said…I am going to go buy a Samsonite “bag” and pull it behind (no pun intended!) me. That way you can’t even see my butt!

  3. your commentary is so much better. perhaps you should take over the show.

  4. Karol

    Hey Girl! I really like the big purse idea and if I combine it with the long jacket….Nope, there ain’t nothin’ gonna cover the junk I’ve got stored up in my trunk. Guess I’m still eating right here in Michigan. I think your sis and I have the same thoughts on this:)

    Love ya

  5. Karol

    Hey from Michigan. If I combine the long jacket with a suitcase then I should be all set!

  6. Hilarious!!

    (I’m off to search my closet for a big purse…)

  7. Melinda

    Order me one of those “large” purses when you get yours, ok?

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